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Updates October 2000
October 26, 2000

Happy October ~ Happy Autumn ~ Happy Halloween!

A few unhappy things have happened since my last update in August. Saddest of all, John lost his Mom. She was 90 years old and doing real well up until she got sick and within two weeks she was gone. We are all glad that she had a full life right up until then, but we will all miss her. She was 5' nothing but had a heart bigger than anyone I've ever known. Apparently I'm not the only one who feels the same. Over 100 people showed up for her funeral ~ one of the biggest funerals this area has seen for years and years. So many people showed up they had to wait outside for their turn to pay their respects. She would have been in awe of all the people who where there. One really sweet lady. If she had ever won the lottery, she would have been broke within a year for giving it all away. She was living on her own on about $600 a month, yet she was always giving somebody something, never wanting anything in return. Just a little love and the right to call you a damn fool if she thought you were being one. She did that often, and at 90, I guess she was pretty accurate about who's a fool! She was one of the last truly honest people around. She will be missed by anyone who ever got to know her. And maybe some who haven't yet.

Another sad thing that happened is that I lost my job and my health insurance. No income and no coverage... kind of hard to take when I really need it. Long story ~ but to make it short, my nerves couldn't take all that stress anymore. Well, enough about those sour grapes.

So, I am about broke (again) and at 48 having to start all over. Too bad that starting over at 48 isn't as easy as it was in my 30's! Square 1 again! Somewhere in all of this is a lesson to be learned. Sure wish I could learn lessons quicker!! :) But I suppose lessons are what's life is all about ~ at least I hope so! I sure have my share of them! Something will happen to make things workable again. In the meantime, I can write a bunch of drivel for you to read!!!!! :):) Aren't you the lucky ones?? :)

One of the biggest things I miss about not having a "whole mind" is the way I use to be so fearless. In some ways, I use to be afraid of most everything yet, I didn't let the "little things" get to me. Now it seems like everything gets to me. But at least I stopped having nightmares about work! That's a big plus - yet I know in my heart that my mind was trying to make me see the truth about what was going on with that situation. And another plus is that I don't have the urge to get even for the injustices that were put on me. That could just be "age" too. Or just too dang tired to fight it. I really have no idea!

I said, "Enough about sour grapes ~ water under the bridge ~ and other fitting proverbs of proverbial magnitude!! :)

Guess it's still bugging me, huh?

But, this is what this site is all about ~ everyday life of someone who has to live GD and life combined. Hard to separate the two sometimes. Is this life ~ Or is this just me and my GD??? Could be either - or neither - or one or the other! So hard to tell. Life by itself is unfair. Life with GD is less fair. I still need a hero!!!

If I had a hero, I'd share because we all need a hero!!! Someone to help us all out of this mind/body altering disease! You still have a thyroid? It might spit out enough hormones to kill you! You have RAI or surgery ~ it might suck your hormones dry til it kills you! You take supplements and things still aren't right! And you suffer in your mind and/or body daily from lack of or too much hormones! And this happens mostly to women who's hormones are never regular!!!! And no one has bothered to figure it out! Hell! Not much has been done to even try! "Here! Take this pill or that pill." There isn't much in the medical profession that is more guess work than this! Perhaps that might be a very strong statement ~ but when (and I'd really like to know) was the last time any of you went to the Doctor and he or she did not say, "Let's try this or that." ? Have you ever gone and had any Doctor say, "I can fix this."? Or at least been given an answer that makes any logical sense?

But this is just me with a GD site, and a person who has no clout in the world except for those who write a message in this guestbook or send me an e-mail thanking me for letting them realize they are not alone in this. And that's all I can offer! Wish it could be so very much more!!!!! There are other sites that offer more ~ more technical information ~ forums ~ newest data available ~ and bla bla bla. Not to say that these sites are not good! Yes they are! But they still don't offer the answer to the big question, "What is the medical profession doing that will help me with this NOW?"

Aren't we all living now? And don't we deserve to be able to live full and happy lives? My life keeps falling apart. Of course there are no statistics to prove it's from having a screwed up thyroid ~ but since there are so many of us out there ~ seems to me that would be one of the first choices! But then ~ I think I'm going to stop those thoughts here because now I feel obligated to add "politics" into the equation... Really don't want to get into politics here! All I will allow myself to say is that if there isn't money to be made, then nothing!

Don't know how to end this ~ but I think that's what I'm going to do before I end up on a fruitless rampage! But then rampages are all part of this damn disease, aren't they?

So I will hold my tongue (keyboard) and let this settle (or not) where it may. I do have one other thought (not that it will go far...) but do we really want a President in office who' Father AND Mother (and dog) have hereditary GD?? Good question! Maybe I'll even vote just so I can vote against BUSH! Doesn't say much for GD sufferers, does it? Til next time! Sue --{--{@

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