So, I awoke this morning - real early as usual - and what did I find? We had run out of fuel! brrrrr....... Guess you get what you ask for when you don't check! :) This winter has just been so mild, it's easy to feel a bit spoiled and neglect things you otherwise would never forget! And, of course, we are expecting the first big cold snap of the season the next couple of days! The old below-zero thingy, ya know. Twood figure! :)

Still doing the find-a-job thing. Thought I had one - finally - but after I was hired, turned out the job was far from what I'd expected. Didn't like it! No sir, not one bit! :) That's one good thing about a temp-to-hire job, if it isn't what your cup of tea - there are no questions asked and no hard feelings. Well, almost none... but I only have a couple. :) Like - Why couldn't I have found out that the job was yucky BEFORE I cancelled the interviews I'd already lined up? And like - I sure could have used the money! Live and learn - I hope! :)

Been fighting off a cold for the last couple of weeks. I lost the battle Christmas day and was totally under the weather til this morning. Feeling much better today - though somewhat on the cold side! (pun intended! :) The mild weather has been a treat, but it's been hard on people's health. Lots of colds, flu, and other maladies all over the place!

Been on .15mg of Synthroid since the 1st of October, and I'm beginning to feel that it isn't enough - or something. I have to say "or something" since I haven't had my levels checked and I have been wrong most times when I've guessed! I can't stand it!!! And I know I'm not alone in that one! :) So many of you have written and thanked me for "baring my soul" here and have told me how much it helps to know you aren't alone. Well, I want to thank you for writing and letting me know I'm not alone in my total frustration at having this dang thing and just never feeling quite right - with the exception of a few days at a time here and there. ptpth~ ptpth~ ptpth~ < -- That is my frustration being vocalized! :)

I'm not sure if I should be concerned about how I feel and DO something about it, or if I should learn the meaning of acceptance and live with it! There are no clear cut answers on that one - the answer you get depends on who you ask... and whether or not you have it left in you to follow through. Have any of you found yourself re-explaining to people that you still don't feel well? I mean, it's only human nature for others to expect that "after all this time" that you should be better! Have you felt the comment "this is getting old" - kind of just hanging in the air?

It's very difficult when you can't live up to other's expectations and at the same time, you aren't allowed to fall back on an "accepted" disability! Not that I want to fall back, mind you, it's just that I feel as if I'm constantly giving 110% all the time and it doesn't feel as if I'm giving anything in "real time". My Mom would have said, "It feels like you're trying to punch your way out of a paper bag." How true.

Well, enough somber stuff - we have a new year to look forward to. Perhaps 1999 will be the one where someone comes up with something that will make a difference to all of us who aren't all there :)

Til next time - Look to the future - Happy New Year!