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Updates for October 1997
October 30, 1997

I guess you can bring the horse to water, but you can't make it drink! Hey! Just applying some old-fashioned horse sense! Want to hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in a mud puddle. :) Now, that's a horse of a different color! Just horsing around! :)

And so we come to the next updates in the life of Sue Rose! Um. That's me! :) It's been 30 days since I started taking the increased dose of Synthroid, your artificial friend. Over the last month, my bod has felt like it was a state of metamorphosis - again. Spent the first week waiting for something to happen. Nothing! But the last three weeks have been interesting! I've been riding the roller coaster of changes in hormone replacement therapy. T'would prefer the roller coaster of lo-oo-ve, but no such luck! :)

After a week or so of having spells of feeling like someone unplugged me and then plugged me back in, I spent a week or so having the worst case of PMS I've had since I was really really hyper last year. My sister, Jean, said I was acting like I was driving a truck when I was using the computer mouse! "Get outta my way or I'll run you over with this thing!" :) Or, for that matter, anything! Was very very cold too. After PMS was over, I had a complete transformation back to lovable me within one hour's time! :) Went from shivering and wrapped up in anything I could get wrapped up in, to a nice cozy warm. Watched the Buffalo Bills perform in their "own special style" and lose! Again! Basically, spent a whole day feeling more relaxed than I have felt since... um, since... um, I don't know! :)

Since then, I have been feeling somewhat on an even keel. I even spent some time NOT thinking about how I feel! That's cool! :) I've been out in the job market seeking employment too. Sending out resumes and going to interviews and stuff. The only thing I haven't been able to do is get a job! :) So, it looks like, at least for now, that mebbe my bod is adjusting to the new dose as expected! With flair! Hey, you have to say one thing for having GD! It's never boring! Just like the Buffalo Bills! They may not be the best team going, but you never get bored watching them!

I've got a special treat coming to this here war very soon. I sure would like to tell you all about it, but if I did that, then I wouldn't be me! :) I'll give you a hint though... I think you will find it very "Val"-uable! :) So, this be me signin' off til next time! What's black and white and red all over? A zebra with a sunburn! What's black and white and read all over? A newspaper! Oooooo! :)

October 16, 1997

The update for this week is - I'm tired. Just plain old bone tired. Tired physically, tired mentally, and tired emotionally. Just tired. Feel like I'm dragging myself around and going through the motions. In some ways, it actually feels like I have a stranger living in my person with me. I hardly recognize myself at this point. No! I do not mean that I have a split-personality. Or that I am turning into "Wolf-Boy" :) I just mean that I hardly feel at all like myself. Not depressed, but no fight either.

Sort of like living in some Limbo-Land where I don't seem to care about a thing. This struggle has just been too long! Well, since I am finding myself just staring at the wall for about 10 minutes and finding nothing further to write, then I will further write nothing. :) I hope whatever is doing this to me is just a temporary thing and that soon some life will return to these tired ol' bones! In the meantime, the word for the week is - ptpth ~ ! :)

October 8, 1997

Here it is Update Day once more. Another week has gone by and I still feel "kah kah"! Zat how it's spelled? :) I have been experiencing this "up down thingy" One moment I feel a "normal" level of energy (for me - which for some time has been barely past a walk), and the next moment I feel as if I had been unplugged. I dislike having to continue the "hazzard a guess" thing, but all I know is that before I started taking the higher level of Synthroid, your artificial friend, just one week ago, I was only feeling tired with an occasional "high". This unplugged thing is something new to me in the last few days. I will say this much, though, I did find myself singing for a little bit on Saturday. Hey! It counts for something! I was washing dishes at the time! How many of you wash dishes and sing about it?!? :)

Another little noticeable thing, a bit of a high point actually, is that even through the trials and tribulations of the past few weeks, through the spazzing and the off-beat moods, through the "urge to whack-bonk" thing and the ruminating about the consequences of actually doing that, I have not gained weight! :) Not the biggest "Whoopee!" right now, but not a bad thing either. :)

Aside from sitting here and writing for you my meanderings with drivel, there is not much new to tell. So, I will simply close for this week. I do want to mention again about seeking more responses to "Enough Is Enough!" I know how busy people can get, and I do understand the "not want to think about it" thing. Just asking you to keep in mind that the time it takes to send me your experiences is far less time than it will take to handle the next situation alone. Perhaps together we can prevent the next ones from happening for you, for all of us. Great Expectations, huh? Well, facts are, you never know what you can accomplish unless you try!

October 1, 1997

(Enough is Enough has since been removed including The Auspicious and The Suspicious) I hope that everyone who visits this site will take the time to at least take a look at "Enough Is Enough". I spent quite a bit of time this past week refining the content of the page to hopefully clarify a point or two that might have been a bit shadowed in amongst my "spaz session". Well, I was spazzed because I'd just had enough! Still have, but I'm done "spazzing" about it for now. :)

Anyway, once you've read about what I'm trying to do, I hope that more of you will see the point and respond by sending your experiences to me. I would very much like to have a large enough collection to start the "Auspicious / Suspicious Section" within the next month or so. Maybe we could all have a better New Year for it! :) So, please do consider writing about this soon, though, once started, it will always remain open to new submissions. So, if you cannot contribute now, or you are undecided about whether or not you should contribute, you can indeed contribute later.

As to my updated state of hormone health, I did speak with my endocrinologist's office this past week, and finally was told he would increase my dose of Synthroid, your artificial friend. I still find it appalling that I was forced to wait from July to now to get what I needed. And will now be forced to "wait it out" until this new dose becomes effective (provided it does) to feel any better. Trying to find the correct dose you need does take time, but since my TSH was on the rise in July, this was totally an unnecessary waste of my time and my health. Not to mention that I was deceived. Why did he say to me in July that my TSH was very close to normal when, in fact it had gotten higher than the last test? And why did he not raise the dose in July instead of waiting til the end of September? I will probably never know since the endocrinologist did not even bother to speak with me this past week. He had his assistant call me with his orders. Oh, yes! I've still had enough!

As much as I would like to end this week's updates with my usual silly stuff, I guess this experience has left me feeling not silly. I feel tired, I hurt, and have been very very cold. I've been back to the crying at commercials thing. I've been getting confused, depressed, and in general feeling quite unwell - physically and emotionally. As well as feeling very dismayed at the lack of concern I've been shown. I still feel there is hope! Just at this point I have to project it further into the future! Lesson learned! Time to take many more things into my own hands. I very much hope to hear from many, many, of you! Thanks!

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